$$$

Okay, so I am eating 100% raw foods, meditating, writing, riding my pre-WWII bicycle around town, have been to five meetings in 11 days, and have lost ten whole pounds!!  I feel like a million bucks and have no plans to stop my practice any time soon.  Life is good.  Life is better than good.

Awake in the wee hours of the morning but happy and grateful and all that good stuff.  Having a fantasy about starting a raw foods restaurant with some other crazed raw foodist in my Oregon town.  Ani Phyo is currently my hero and I dream of living in the raw food mecca of southern California.

A friend went to a Christian rock concert in Texas with her 16 year old son.  She's come a long way from our 80's new wave wild party days in Denver.  Me too- my idea of rocking out is to meditate or drink a Superfoods smoothie and  dance around in my kitchen listening to Larissa Stowe sing 'Amma' or a techno dance version of the Heart Sutra.  

My kitchen is becoming a raw food oasis in the midst of my formerly depressed life.  How absolutely radical is that.  I see photos of raw folks and they look ridiculously happy.  I am happy when I meditate and write and walk and eat raw food. Who could ask for more.

And... there is a gorgeous white vintage Thunderbird in mint condition that lives down on Amazon.  I think it's from the 1950's.  What a car!

confused...

Just realized that the last two posts I made to this blog actually went to the first incarnation.  Ah...  how perfect!

a Rilke quote...

Read this quote on a blog that I have been following- it brings tears and a deep recognition of the failure to love that has been such a part of my life experience.

Think, dear Sir, of the world you carry inside you and call this thinking whatever you want to: a remembering of your own childhood or a yearning towards a future of you own- only be attentive to what is arising in you, and place that above everything you perceive around you. What is happening in your innermost self is worthy of your entire love; somehow you must find a way to work at it, and not lose too much time or too much courage in clarifying your attitude towards people.

Ken Mcleod teaches that what we experience is life.  The sensations, feelings, and thoughts that arise and pass away in our field of experience make up what we call life.  There is nothing else. Rilke phrases it as "what is happening in your innermost self" and claims that it "is worthy of my entire love".   For as long as I can remember, I have judged my experience and left

a Rilke quote

Think, dear Sir [writes the poet a hundred years ago], of the world you carry inside you, and call this thinking whatever you want to: a remembering of your own childhood or a yearning towards a future of your own–only be attentive to what is arising in you, and place that above everything you perceive around you. What is happening in your innermost self is worthy of your entire love; somehow you must find a way to work at it, and not lose too much time or too much courage in clarifying your attitude towards people.

thanks to middle-aged Italian chick...

"Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.  Just keep going.  No feeling is final." --Rilke