sick day...

Had three friends (one is my daughter) over for lunch today.  We feasted on Indian food while one of the women expressed her woes regarding a class she is taking.  Another expressed her woes about a difficult exam she took to get into a medical training program.  I whined a bithere and there about being sick and joked that I had thought of fixing plates of food, handing them out at the door, saying, here is your food, now go away.  

I just wanted to let myself be sick, lay around, go back to bed, be pathetic.   At one point I commented to the one among us who was actually in a good mood and not complaining about anything, that I wished I felt better.  She heard me say that, I heard myself say that and we both cracked up laughing.  What a ridiculous thing it was. 

So now, some six hours later, they are back in the stream of their lives and I am alone and still feeling sick but not fighting it or making inane remarks about feeling better.  How wonderful to recognize that wanting things to change ensures that they never will.  So I can relax and breathe and bring this to a close.

Ahh... sleep... I'm on my way.